I Would Rather Be In Bed

I find greeting cards dull and unimaginative. They try, they really do try. They do come close to the essence of human emotion. I think, perhaps the real problem is I feel everything too deeply, too sharply, in too much descriptive detail. Anytime I’ve ever bought a card for someone I have to buy one that has a humor related message because there is no heartfelt message in the world in a greeting card that can ever relate to the giant ocean or expanse of universe that I apparently carry inside my chest.

When I sit down to think about the message I want to convey to someone it pours out in words that I can’t contain to a few lines on a page that basically boil down to “Hey, I think you’re pretty awesome. Love ya.”

No.

I want to tell someone how life is a little easier because of them. How when they walk in the room I breathe a little easier and I worry a little less. That when I know they’re safe the sharp edge that cuts into my heart lets off just a little until the next time they have to go away. I want to tell them how their eyes remind me to breathe and their hands remind me things are going to be okay. I like to tell them about the small things in life that make me think of them.

You can’t fit all those things on a five by seven card in cute little crafted hallmark lines. Real emotion is raw and doesn’t always fit together in glitter and end with a cutesy greeting. It reminds you that things hurt when you’re not there, but one touch of your hands and they’re better. It says when the stars are bright and the night is calm I wish you were there to look up with me because it’s one of my favorite things to do. Real is when you know a hand on your cheek and a kiss on your forehead is what calms a mind that never sleeps.

I haven’t quite yet found a greeting card that says those things. So, next time you’re searching through those racks, trying to find a card that says all the things that you want to say and you settle on the one you think might be right. Remember, you settled. Put a pen in your hand, write it on a piece of paper, the back of a receipt, hell write it on the goddamned wall if you have to…but do not settle for glitter and bows and someone else’s words.

Tell them.

Tell them the days are brighter because of them and the nights are shorter. Tell them they are the reason you quit holding your breath. Tell them they are the stars and you never want to stop looking. Tell them they are everything. Tell them you’re tired and you’re not good enough but you’re trying so, so hard, please be patient. Tell them everything you want to say. Life is too short for anything else.