I Would Rather Be In Bed

It was beautiful the way she held the world in her smile and the stars in her eyes. You couldn’t help but trust her. Like knowing if you handed her all your demons she would take each one, break them down, and put them away where they couldn’t hurt you anymore. She would silence all that noise in your head and the smile would never falter from her face as she did it. She was strength and grace and she held it all with poise and never faltered. She was all the answers to a question I didn’t know I had. My soul had spent a thousand lifetimes searching for the light and there she was. Just waiting. 

She was light because she had been to every depth of the darkness and she had found her way out. She knew how to bring light to every dark place inside me. Hope and courage poured out of her like a never ending well and I wanted to drown in her and never come back up for air. 

One look in her eyes and I just knew. I knew she was the home I’d been searching for all this time, I knew she was the light I needed. I’ll never know why she shared that with me, I didn’t deserve it. I was only a dark spot, a stain, dragging her into my depths while she stood steadfast and never let me drown. 

“Because,” she would whisper to me in the quiet of the night when I felt broken beyond repair, “you don’t see the light inside you yet, but I do, and it’s beautiful.”